Fierce School Advice From A Tabby Cat
Dear Butterscotch,
I wanted to be more involved with my kids’ school, so I joined the Public School Zero PTA.
Now I’m embroiled in a borderline scary dispute about the math teacher’s mangy dog with a bunch of other moms and I feel like it’s taking over my life.
The dog has multiple unexplained injuries and the math teacher became irate when we tried to ask about the dog. Twice the dog has tried to jump into my car, seemingly to get away from his owner. His whimper is so sad it breaks my heart and now I’m afraid of the math teacher.
–Miserable Mange
Dear Miserable Mange,
This dog shows signs of abuse.
But be cautious. You should know that research shows a connection between cruelty to animals and violence toward humans. And I’m not just saying that because I’m a cat.
The math teacher sounds dangerous. My advice is to inform the Principal and tell them to report the abuse to the proper authority in your state.
Make sure there is a paper trail. If the teacher threatens you in any way, you need to report it to the police.
It is not your job to take on this situation. The Principal should have noticed this red flag with the math teacher a long time ago and made sure the kids are safe in his classroom. I know the Principal is a weak man from the scent of his shoes, but that is no excuse.
It is outrageous that mothers are recruited as unpaid labor in our underfunded school system.
Protest the annexation of your devalued labor by dropping out of the PTA. If that does not work, you might try howling outside the Principal’s door in the middle of the night, littering his front steps with socks or looking deep into his eyes with an acidic, arctic stare of limitless contempt.
Best,
Butterscotch
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