Tempers ran high last night at a meeting of the emergency Executive Board of the Association of Imaginary Schools. National Public Radio reported that an unsealed indictment revealed that Homeland Security agents created a bogus university in Michigan, called Farmington University, to entrap foreign nationals looking to use student status to extend U.S. visa privileges.
The government-created sham school had a logo and website, but no teachers or students. “Officials say the university attracted recruiters who were paid thousands of dollars for connecting students to the bogus school, which had actual office space in Farmington Hills, Michigan,” NPR explained.
The undercover operation began in 2015 and hundreds of “students” could now face charges and deportation as a result of the sting. AIS Board members were shocked to discover that the fake “Farmington University” was a member of the Association of Imaginary Schools, and several called for an immediate censure of Farmington. Other Board members thought stronger measures needed to be taken and motioned to evict Farmington from the AIS.
Another faction asked the group to consider what difference there was between a sham school for a government sting operation and any other imaginary school. One member pointed out that the intention of AIS schools is always humor, parody, and satire, whereas Farmington was designed to trick vulnerable immigrants as part of a larger political ploy. Another suggested that satire is also political and that its aims are not always benign.
The attorney present from Dewey Cheatem & Howe at this point interrupted the proceedings and made it very clear that the AIS could lose its protected legal status as satire and parody if it allowed the Farmington membership to remain.
Shouting broke out between the different factions, finally interrupted by the Harried Administrator who revealed to the embattled body that the Department of Homeland Security had failed to pay Farmington Univerisity’s 2019 annual AIS dues. In the opinion of the Harried Administrator, this meant that the membership was lapsed and could be canceled by the AIS on the technicality without further philosophical bloodshed.
The meeting broke up with members of the “Remain” faction left grumbling in the hallway by the handicapped bathroom.