The federal bribery case in the ongoing college admissions scandal has been a boon to schools looking to raise money through legal bribery. 

In the past, it has been difficult for colleges to broadcast the route by which donors could purchase their child’s admission. This cut off a significant revenue stream, especially from rich foreign parents, simply because parents were not aware of the proper channels to purchase admission.

The significant publicity about the bribery case across all types of media has made the public aware of the dangers of illegal bribery (which does not benefit schools at all) and outlined the steps you can take to offer a legal bribe (which is money in the bank for schools).

This information is now easily searchable online and delightfully detailed. The Association of Imaginary Schools has engaged a media consultant to make sure accurate details of legal bribery are included in press reports including a detailed “price list” for parents

In the past, development officers had to engage in a complex and time-consuming back and forth, in which the price of admission was not stated. Now The Association of Imaginary Schools has managed to publicize the price of admission, and furthermore to suggest a higher price than might otherwise have been charged.

The Association hopes that over time prices can be fixed and standardized across its imaginary schools, so that parents (and grandparents!) will know just how much they need to donate for a new library, scholarship fund, or summer house for the Dean in order to buy their kids a place at any given college.

 

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