Notice to Burning Badger Waldorf School Parents
Effective immediately, parents will be prohibited from art photography in the Burning Badger Waldorf School Woodland Play Space. It is distracting to the children and exposes the school to unacceptable legal liability.
The new rule is prompted by multiple parent complaints about a recent incident in which reclusive photographer Deiter Reichstag commandeered a corner of the Woodland for a controversial photoshoot involving a toy deer and a strawberry cheesecake.
Parents commented that plastic toys are bad for the earth and that the highly artificial supermarket dessert promoted unnecessary added sugar and pesticide-ridden produce. Children should play only with real deer and eat foraged berries.
Reichstag commented that native deer are riddled with disease-carrying ticks and have been shown to be infected with Covid at high rates. “Plastic deer are definitely a better choice for kids,” he argued. “Please do not encourage my children, or any others to play with wild animals. As for eating possibly poison berries from the bush, please remember what happened to poor little Tempeh.”
Since Reichstag’s family are big donors to the Burning Badger School, we will honor our usual policy of making exceptions for money and allow the artist to hold his spring benefit show on campus as originally planned. You can see his works at the Museum of Imaginary Art.
It is important to understand the philosophical and moral difference between a normal parent using our campus for their private artistic endeavors and a rich and connected parent promoting the school by exploiting our Woodland.
While we are venting please let it be known we are sick of moms in the flattering “teapot pose” trying to look thinner and happier than they really are. Just look at the camera, bulges and all, and let the shadow of your double chin shed light on your character.
Any moms seen filming #momlife TikToks by the photogenic winter berry arch at the gate to the Woodland will be asked to leave campus. Moms are not artists and no exceptions will be made.
Also Read: Mother Accused of Making Unhealthy Frosting for Birthday Cupcake