Family Therapy Hand Signals
Due to an overwhelming response, all spots in the Public School Zero Driving School Class for Parents are now filled.
In an attempt to meet the demand for the Family Therapy unit of our Parent Driving Course, our resident mental health expert has developed the following handout to help families deal with some common issues that come up between parents and children learning to drive.
Please feel free to download the free Family Therapy Hand Signals handout chart at the end of this post for use with your difficult parent.
We hope families that use this shorthand can avoid many annoying repetitive conversations.
Family Therapy Term Definitions and Examples
Triangulation
Triangulation is when someone tries to bring a third person into your relationship in order to manipulate you. This could mean setting up a rivalry with another person or directing communication through another person.
Example: When you confront your mother about her speeding tickets, your speed demon mother says that her favorite, your older brother, thinks she is a great driver.
Backstabbing
Backstabbing is when you go behind someone’s back to undermine them.
Example: Your brother has reported your mother to the police for speeding, but implies it was you.
Defensiveness
When someone is hypersensitive to criticism and tends to deny and deflect when confronted.
Example: When you confront your older brother about blaming you for reporting your mother to the police, he tells you you’re being paranoid and he only has your mother’s best interest in mind.
Stirring the Pot
A pot stirrer is someone who gets pleasure from provoking drama between other people.
Example: Your younger sister brings up your fight with your brother in front of your father.
Dominance
Patriarchal family structures are based on dominance. Displays of dominance enforce the family hierarchy and reinforce the power of the patriarch.
Example: Your father hears from your (backstabbing) brother that you confronted your mother about her dangerous driving and he punishes you for insubordination by taking away your car keys. Later your (pot-stirring) sister tells you that your father actually needed the car to go to Traffic Court where he had to defend six recent traffic tickets he had received to prevent his driver’s license from being suspended.
Projection
Projection is when you disavow your thoughts, feelings, or problems and attribute them to someone else.
Example: Your mother says you need to confront your father about his driving.
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