The Union of Concerned Scientists reports that “Industry interests have too often skewed the outcome of academic studies of fracking, producing questionable, industry-friendly reports from several universities—a phenomenon that has been dubbed “frackademia”.
In keeping with these important current academic norms, Fred’s University is moving to bring its fracking research into line with fracking industry goals. As of today all faculty working on the F.U. Fracking Research Initiative are asked to submit any data unfavorable to the fracking industry to the Dean of Corporate Cooperation.
Faculty are required to erase the original data from their own computers. In addition, faculty are kindly requested to burn any extant paper copies of data. As a complimentary service, the Dean will fire up a well at the F.U. experimental fracking field so that the data can be immolated in a blaze of uncollected methane.
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