Responding to alumni donor complaints that Richard E Rich has been increasingly infiltrated by liberals and left-wing values, the Development Office is sponsoring a Republicans Only fundraiser this Saturday at the Rich E Rich Boat House.
The organizers have paid particular attention to the menu, as a recent Time Magazine study, using exclusive data provided by online food delivery service Grubhub, examined the aggregate ordering patterns of customers across nearly 200 congressional districts and demonstrated that, of 175 popular items ordered on Grubhub, 75% had significant correlations to the partisanship of those districts.
In keeping with the findings, our Grand Old Party donors will be served a steak dinner with conventional vegetables (raised the old-fashioned way with plenty of pesticides to kill any foreign bugs). No offensive Democrat veggie burgers, Chicken Tikka Masala, or burritos will be on offer. The organizing committee promises Nantucket Reds, Vineyard Vines and G&Ts on tap.
But most of all no need to fear for the weather: there will not be a snowflake in sight. So bring your checkbooks and enjoy Republicans Galore!