Your motive for getting kicked out of prep school could be revenge on your stepmother Sheree who shunted you off to boarding school in the first place. Or you could want to get back at your cold father who is a little strapped for the non-refundable tuition he is spending to discard you. Or maybe you want to return to your girlfriend at home. Perhaps you just hate the roommate who is slowly ruining all your sweaters.
It is important that you think about your overall motivation for being kicked out so as to maximize the benefits of your strategy. This is where Dropout Consultants Inc. comes in. We offer comprehensive strategies for getting kicked out of prep school from the first offence to the desired relocation. Most importantly, Dropout Consultants prevent any collateral damage to your own future career or reputation from your exit strategy.
Here are 3 Easy Ways To Get Kicked Out of Prep School
Fail out of three classes
The classes you fail should be college-prep-type classes with a lot of work like Chem or Calculus. You will also be doing a favor to the rest of the students in the class by bringing the bottom of the curve down, so consider it a public service. It is important that you feel good about your own failure. While bombing the hard boring classes, maintain excellent grades in two easier funner classes. You will need those good grades to get into another boarding school and/or college and to be labeled Talented But Troubled. When you leave, you want at least one teacher to cry because they were so impressed by your paper mache chandeliers in the shape of hands and they think you were a misunderstood genius. This will be the teacher writing your future letters of recommendation. Gift them the chandeliers as you go.
Weird Religion
The benefit of using a weird religion to get kicked out of school is that you will have some institutional/legal protection that will keep your case quiet and protect you from most punishments. In this strategy, you are more likely to be asked to leave than outright kicked out. The school will call this “Counselling Out” which is a dance in which each side hates the other. Ideally, the whole thing will be so embarrassing to your parents that they will ultimately withdraw you. After you get home you can put aside your radioactive wand and your high-decibel X-rated body affirmations and go back to normal life.
Dark Backstory
Start cultivating your sad/weird/murky Backstory immediately using all channels: classmates, advisors, faculty and admin. It is also important to identify the member of the custodial staff who has the best connections and confide in them. Although custodial staff are underpaid, unappreciated and treated as disposable non-people, there are usually several members of the team who are elevated to the position of trusted informants/God-like figures. A well-timed word from the right custodian will work faster than any report from a guidance counselor. But be sparing on details, instead use hints and innuendoes. Let the listener do the active work of imagining the story. After you leave a myth should spring up about you, and the lasting impression should be one of “unanswered questions.”
Book Our Dropout Consultants Inc Services Now
Dropout Consultants Inc services are charged to your parent’s Venmo under the business name Top Notch SAT Tutors or Competitive College Consultants depending on your situation. For an extra fee, we can further customize the charges to look like your stepmother’s favorite day spa or your father’s online poker account. Special discounts offered for Richard E Rich Academy students who are willing to prank the Development Director as part of their exit strategy.
Also Read: School Org Chart Shows Role of Dropout