Since the start of the pandemic, the Association of Imaginary Schools has been compiling data from Zoom meetings showing who talks and who interrupts most.
Bob was put in charge of presenting the data, which followed national patterns, showing that white males verbally dominated Association Zoom meetings.
When Bob failed to present the data, his assistant decided to post the stats on her last day before taking a paying job.
Zoom Stats For Bob:
Interrupted Fiona, Sofia, and Coco an average total of 7 times in each meeting.
Has immediately repeated as his own the ideas of Coco and Roxana 13 times this year.
Made belittling comments about George’s baldness at every meeting except one.
Repeated the “joke” about the boss and the blowjob at three meetings.
Made derogatory comments about Jose’s accent in half of all meetings.
Left his camera on while making dinner and handled raw meat without washing his hands after.
Muted female presenters “for fun” during their presentations. Explained that part of the joke was that no one could hear the ladies object.
Commented on Coco’s weight and suggested each meeting should begin with a public weigh-in like the royals do at Christmas.
Picked his nose with the camera on, wiped the booger on his desk, and examined it in detail during George’s presentation.
Bob was proud to acknowledge that he spoke the most at Zoom meetings.
He pointed out that a Yale study showed men are understood to be authoritative when they speak more in meetings, whereas it is a sign of incompetence when women talk a lot in meetings.
Obviously, Bob wrote, men should talk more and women should talk less if they want to be respected.
No need to get emotional about sexism!
He ended by inviting the entire Association of Imaginary Schools staff for a BBQ in his backyard, suggesting George would need sunscreen and he would have half portions for Coco.
Also Read: Icebreakers or Icemakers for Zoom Meetings?